Obviously there are at least a few things that are very wrong with me...

All right, so apparently nonsensical, downright off-kilter crap is not only contagious, but practically genetic/familial BECAUSE this time I did not find the following gems on my own. These "treasures" were actually brought to my attention by the youngest of my four siblings (Peej being 19 & Kell @ 14) very, very late on Christmas night. I cannot possibly express (without video documentation) how gleefully proud they were of themselves when they found these & thought to present them to me, sneaking downstairs far after both their bedtimes to make me watch them, having a good idea how much I'd pretty much hurt myself laughing at the bloody things, not because the following videos are that fantastic but because they made NO FREAKIN' SENSE in such a manner that they knew I'd crack right the Hell up going, "WHAT THE F$#&?!" and crying a little on the inside.

Part of me is really very proud of the two of them for being so young & yet having such a collaborative knack for finding something strangely comical that suits any one, odd individual so perfectly. The other part of me is rather a bit ashamed of myself for having assisted in raising them (at least during their formative years when Mom & Dad were both working full-time) as if they are from freakin' space, thinking this kind of shit is hilarious because now they'll have to find their own crew of ...(ahem)...loving, caring people whose fingers won't immediately itch for indelible ink & the commitment papers when one giggles endlessly @ such ricockulousness wonderfully "accepting" friends, which are not easy to come by.

I've all ready subjected the residents of the ALL Tower to this nonsense and followed it swiftly earlier this morning by hurting poor Katiedid's brain a little when I asked her to watch all three. (She was really very kind about it, but I think only because she's a very nice person & I made her a vat of the stew she loves so much beforehand.)

All this said, there are curse words & NSFW aplenty throughout two of the three following ("Dr Tran's Quiet Log Time" is really the only safe-for-work one & the shortest, for that matter), though I did make sure I listed the censored version of the first video. (By the way, in case you can't hear/understand everything in the first video, being "The Furious Little Cinnamon Bun", do wait for the sum-up just after the first roll of the credits.)

Also, if anything is considered that F'd & weird, you may chalk it up to my YouTube revenge on Debbar for posting that FROM HELL video of Jr. Sr. & the teat-suckling which I shall NEVER be able to scrub from my brain, even with bleach and fire GOD HELP ME. (Madam, I love ya, but really all of space.)

The Furious Little Cinnamon Bun



Dr. Tran's Quiet Log Time



Dr. Tran - Here Come Dr. Tran!



More later (God help you).

~E.

Damnation...

So I just bought my ticket to see The Damned this evening after talking to Nicholas & Katie about it last week, then Bev & Sean about it last night. 'Bout 2 hours later (since I arranged mine should be "Will Call") I go back to check the site for a couple details & find the following...

Oh no! :( Well *that* just blows goats.

More later.

~E.

Hm...

Got a few different options for socializing this evening but think I may stay in after all, not sure yet. Not feelin' quite the thing but I'll see how the rest of the day goes.

Christmas with the family was lovely & it was nice seeing everyone in one place for more than just a couple hours. It's harder these days to see the older of my siblings since they both have crazy schedules between Bri's school & bartending and Kev's theatre tours. It'd be nice to figure out a way to keep in touch with them on a more regular basis. Maybe that'll be something I can work on in the new year.

I hope everyone's had a lovely holiday thus far. :) Now I'm off to take care of some dishes & such.

More later.

~E.

Oh yes, this...

Cross-postin' like a mo-fo for anyone who may not have the pleasure of a Debbar on their friends list, 'cuz it's fucking hilarious.



Because BlogSpot is a bit of a bastard & only permits the tiniest versions of pictures embedded among text, you can check out the normal-size version over here.

:D

More later.

~E.

Oh shit, dude, Bettie Page!

I just found out that apparently Bettie Page passed away after today after suffering a heart attack. She was 85.

:( Well damnation. Man, we've lost a lot of keen &/or interesting celebrities this year.

Okay, so I'm a little immature sometimes, but really...

Today I've spent most of my day working out conflicting travel arrangements, flights, cars, and all sorts of extra crap in addition to my pre-scheduled routine for the day. No big, really, it keeps me busy & I'm prioritizing. While I was booking a National car rental for my boss's stay over in Hawaii, however, something caught my eye during a booking and prompted me to backstep on the site, make sure my eyes weren't playing tricks on me, then I started giggling, because apparently I am 12:


The image is a bit clearer if you click on this link.

...hee hee hee.

More later.

~E.

“...an’ what’s mos’ importantly, I ain’t gotta fuck wit’ Ray-Ray’s broke ass no’ mo’...”

Here’s to being gainfully employed. Dude, one of the things about being w/out a steady job for an unHOLY and fully unacceptable period of time (temping most certainly does not count, particularly in this economy) is that even if you do not have any money of which to speak yet, you are excited simply about the upcoming check, even if the first check is only for a few days and still isn’t due for a little bit yet. You still know that it is coming. One needs no longer fuck about mit das Gub’ment for unemployment payouts weekly to obtain the barest means of covering one’s car insurance, gas, any other bill you can sort of squeeze in there and the weekly ration of ramen, frozen veggies and tuna that become creative “casseroles”. Man, it’s a relief. I remember telling someone a while ago that I really missed being able to bitch about my day at the job. Know why? Because doing so is a luxury. It usually means your job isn’t going anywhere anytime soon and you need to vent before going in for another day of work, because it will all be there again for you tomorrow. Correct me if I’m wrong, but people who are sincerely concerned about the stability of their positions don’t bitch so much. They talk about it a lot and they freak out, but all in all they’re too worried about what’s going to happen tomorrow because they don’t know what’s going to happen next. I think for the most part, people who are sincerely concerned don’t bitch. They stress, they get headaches, they obsess, they smoke and/or drink too much, all while on the lookout for a new position. People who are secure enough in their positions bitch because they know they can and still go in the next day. Random thought, there.

Yesterday I left the apt.about 7:20a to get to work. Had one HELL of a long day. Y’know the kind, just one thing after another and even if you wrote everything down that you did all day long, it still doesn’t seem to justify all the time you just spent in the office. Spent a good chunk of the day reprioritizing everyone’s “emergency” projects while calling all over the better part of the eastern seaboard in order to track down all the missing receipts I needed to process the thick stack of expense reports I wanted off my desk with a passion. Right near the end of the time I’m actually supposed to leave the office (4:30p), the president of the company comes up, tells me he needs last-minute reservations for one o/our guys to go to San Diego next week at a reasonable rate (oh, Lord) and that Duder needs an aisle seat and whatever non-stop flights might be available. (This was a difficult task.) In the end I did what I could, finally calling it quits around 9p (yup, that’s another 12hr.day, hooray for OT!), but with a lock on a decent fare, though not quite the right schedule, and only a few expense reports to tackle today. ::sighs:: Hopefully that’ll be enough to work with for the time being.

For the most part I’m getting my body used to a fairly normal sleep schedule, being about 5 to 6 hrs., depending. I usually get up somewhere between 5a & 6:30a now, depending on whether or not I can afford to sleep in a little. Last night was rough, though. Even going directly home, dropping my bags, changing into pajamas, curling up under warm blankets & watching ‘Tropic Thunder’ I couldn’t seem to get to sleep. Maddening, that. You know damned well you’ve little time left to sleep before you get up, and your mind’s obsessively workin’ the countdown every time you check the nearest timepiece re:how much more time you’ve just lost thinking about it, but you still can’t force yourself to crash out. Urgh. ::sighs again:: I finally decided to just type this entry out, have the last New Castle I’d stashed in the fridge a couple wks.ago & smoke a little before trying again. Eventually it worked, I just wish it’d worked a little earlier. Luckily I am not a surgeon of any sort, so no one shall die or become disfigured even a little on my watch today...they might just end up w/an unexplained über-order of colored Post-Its and rubber bands when next we receive supplies. :)

All right, I’m off to my previously scheduled tasks for the day, but before I finish up do me a favor at some point today, even just for a second or two. Some people reading this have jobs they really dig, some have ones they don’t love but will more than do for the time being, and some people have jobs that blow goats and make them want to drink heavily even before leaving the cube farm behind for the day. Just take a second, though, and remember that no matter how freakin’ frustrating that shit might be at any given moment, you actually *have* a job. It may not be much to speak of, and you might even curse it every day you go in, but you actually HAVE employment. The economy’s fucked, unemployment’s at an all-time high, and honestly even if you’re moppin’ up Slurpie guts and switching out that 5lb.chili bag right now you have *something*, which is one Hell of a lot more than a lot of other people have right now. Just think about that for a brief second at some point today before shoving another pin in the rubber band voodoo doll you made of your boss or co-worker last week. Could be worse.

...then shove another pin in near the head, ‘cuz that guy should *really* learn to chew with his mouth closed. I mean really.

:)

More later.

~E.

When advertisements attack!

All right, so all the guys are back from the Con today, which means I'm not going to have time for a full-fledged entry when everyone's likely to read it. Instead, I'm making another one of my picture entries. See I've all ready received a few texts/IMs today, one of which was a reference from Nicholas to an abandoned jar of peanut butter in the hallway of his work, which he suspected of being a trap, which then reminded me of bear traps, which of course brought to mind bears and THAT, ladies and gentlemen, brings me to...

BEARS WITH CHAIRS!!!


Dun dun DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!


I saw this lovely display, which is apparently used to advertise a business called "Bare Woods" (yes, that's the correct spelling) while driving around yesterday during my lunch break. From what I can tell, the bear seems to've been sculpted out of rather pointy pieces of metal that have since rusted, which basically makes it a giant Tetanus Bear. Also, if you look closely, you will note that both the bear AND the chairs have been chained down...for safety. If the bear doesn't get you, the chairs will for damn certain.

Now I go back to expense reports.

More later.

~E.

Please allow me to adjust my pants, so that I may dance the good time dance...

In case you were wondering, I've been listening to a lot of Clutch in the past few days, specifically 'Blast Tyrant', 'Beale Street' and 'Robot Hive/Exodus'. Day before yest., "The Mob Goes Wild" got stuck in my head for no reason & wouldn't leave, so I've been playing the band since (interspersed with various bits of punk and faster-paced indie) while driving around and running work errands.

Things've been busy as Hell in the past several weeks, which is great but hasn't given me a lot of time to catch up w/people I haven't talked to in awhile. I've started a new job doing admin.& operations work (similar tasks to my last job) with an engineering company over in Chantilly that designs and builds flight simulators for the Navy & USMC. It's a smaller company with the HQ in Chantilly and three other offices in Jacksonville (NC), Orlando, and one that's basically just a guy in CA working from home with occasional outside help. They’ve pretty keen benefits (medical, dental, vision, 401k, PTO, etc.) that started 12/1 for me, which is fantastic considering I’ve not even been here a full mo.yet & I been w/out for almost a year. The pay's not bad either (or won’t be once I get my first check) and my supervisor seems to be pretty nice so far.

The keen thing about starting here around this time of year is two-fold. First, there are a lot of company holidays right now, like the 4-day weekend I got for Thanksgiving right after starting, then being off from 12/25 - 1/1 for Christmas. (Sweet!) Second, there's not really anyone in the office at the moment. See, right around this time of year, every year, there's a big convention down in Orlando called IITSEC where all the owners of the co.(and a good number of our engineers) go to promote what we do, which means that for about 4 or 5 days straight there are very few people in my office.

When I'm starting in a new place, something like this is freakin' fantastic. I get almost a full week to put in as much OT as I like while I overhaul whatever space I'm working in, reorganizing everything to suit me, and starting on personal projects and initiatives I'd like to get going in the office while everyone's away. In short, I'm not interrupted often (unless the guys call from the Con, which does happen sometimes) and I can work on WHATEVER.I.WANT. Love. Also, though I've made sure to keep her updated on whatever I'm doing, my supervisor seems to trust me thus far to find something useful to do and get things together, pretty much leaving me to my own devices, which is ALSO something I appreciate more than I can say in a workplace. (I despise micromanagement and have never understood the thought process behind it.) She goes for a couple of hours at a time w/out coming by or calling at all, so I’m able to get a jump on things I normally might not be able to touch if I were constantly interrupted. Hopefully this won't change completely when the guys come back tomorrow/Monday.

There are some other nice things about this place, too: Being able to listen to music (though at a low level) on speakers by my comp., even when I'm covering phones; the insistence that even if we choose not to take a break away from the office ea.day, we at least step away from our work & do something on the internet for a little bit so we don't get cranky and stressed; and getting mileage reimbursement for any work errands we do (which is not nearly as common as you'd think). All in all, not bad thus far. We'll see how things progress.

Aside from that this weekend should be nice. Tonight is wings for the first time in forever (provided it's happening this evening), Friday I'm celebrating a friend's birthday and Saturday I'm to head to a third Thanksgiving gathering, which should be pretty keen. No clue what else I might be doing, but it’ll probably be local as I’m not getting my first paycheck for a bit yet. If you’ve any ideas, hit me up.

More later.

~E.

Updates on things of late & a lovely Obama superhero shirt...

First off, I think this Alex Ross shirt is awesome.


It can be acquired over here if you are interested.

Okay, now on to more important things. Life hasn't been incredibly interesting of late but it has been busier, which is good. I've had more interviews, which has been taking up a lot of my time considering the driving & all. The down side to this is that the past few clients decided to go w/other candidates for their positions (often ones they ended up finding in-house). Honestly I can understand that, though, because the positions for which the temp.agencies are submitting me only sort of parallel what I've done before. They've not yet managed to nail down an actual admin.position yet, only jobs that are sort of similar in nature to my background. The second-to-last position for which I interviewed was something along the lines of assistance in event coordination. While I'm a quick study & a hard worker, the fact is the company was actually about 2 mos.behind in even searching for someone to replace the previous employee (I found this out a bit afterwards), so though they like me and were impressed with my background, what they were really looking for someone they didn't have to train considering their rather close deadline.

There are a few up sides, however, the first being that ea.o/my interviews have still gone extremely well, and each of the companies with whom I've interviewed have asked if I'd be available in the future for something in another department. Another is that I'm still getting far more interviews than I was just on my own and I've had slightly steadier temp.work in the meantime, which is good.

In addition, my most recent interview on Wed.evening seemed to go rather well. I spoke to the president of a company over in Herndon for just shy of an hour, after which point she said she'd like me to come in again this evening to meet with two more people who weren't available for the panel interview she tried to schedules on Wed. It would be an 8a-5p, M-F job, the position (Production Manager) sounds to be a combination of admin., operations, and cust.svc., and the location isn't too far from the house. The benefits are okay and the salary would be an improvement over anything else I've yet seen. Either way, however, we'll see how things go this evening & what kind of response the company sends back next week. With this economy & the job market the way it is, I'm not putting my eggs all in one basket.

Aside from that, this weekend should be fun. I've Petunia's baby shower on Sunday afternoon & a trip to the National Gallery of Art planned for Saturday morning. Other than those two things, I'll probably just stay home for the remainder of the weekend. Much as I'd like to socialize, that would require extra money that I can currently only allot to go in the tank of my car.

All right, have to go take care of a few things before the interview.

More later,

~E.

Memery b/c I have today off...

From my friend, Joey.

1. Your rock star name (first pet, current car): Edgar Nissan. (...that is a crap "rock star" name.)
   
2. Your gangsta name (fav.ice cream flavor, fav.type of shoe): Mandarin Mary Jane, Dark Chocolate Chuck, or Pistachio Combat.
   
3. Your Native American name (fav.color, fav.animal): Green frog. (Oh, c’mon.)
   
4. Your soap opera name (middle name, city where you were born): Suzanne Walnut Creek?
   
5. Your Star Wars name (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 of your first name): HasEr ::chuckles::
   
6. Superhero name (2nd fav.color, fav.drink): Black Jameson!
   
7. NASCAR name (the first names of your grandfathers): Daniel Harold
   
8. Stripper name (the name of your fav.perfume/cologne/scent, fav.candy): Clove Warhead (She sounds agressive.)
   
9. TV weather anchor name (your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter): Hendricks Houston
   
10. Spy name (your fav.season/holiday, flower): Winter Lobelia
    
11. Cartoon name: (fav. fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now): Green Apple Boxer
    
12. Hippie name (What you ate for breakfast, your fav. tree): Earl Grey Pine

PURPAH DRAAANK!

::chuckles:: Just saw this posted in a friend's blog and now you get to see it here, b/c I can think of at least two people (offhand) who may at least a bit of a grin out of it.

And now, Big Moe's video, 'Purple Stuff'...



More later,

~E.

"Did inner-tube robber use Craigslist in heist?"

A friend o/mine in WA sent me a link to this story last night, but lately I fail @ IM & forget to keep putting up the damned away mssg., so I didn't see it 'til just a little while ago. I must say, the guy was creative. Read for yourself.

More later.

~E.

“LET’S ALL NOT BE MEAN TO SARAH PALIN!”

I love anything that makes me laugh, and there’s not a whole Hell o/a lot out there that doesn’t at least make me giggle a little in one way, shape, or form. I’m kind of a laugh slut. Considering this, it shouldn’t come as that big of a surprise that a fair number of my Hollywood crushes are on comedians. In addition to a well-developed sense of humor, obviously, good comedians are usually incredibly intelligent and sometimes a bit off-kilter. They know how to connect with & read their audience well enough to judge the timing & impromptu tailoring of their performance or delivery. Through the use of brains, wit, and skill, they let people from varying backgrounds, ethnicities, and places in life see the world through their eyes. Good comedians really make you laugh your ass off at the view.

One of my Hollywood crushes is Patton Oswalt. If you’re not all ready familiar with him, you should be. I haven’t really met anyone who doesn’t like him, yet. If you don’t know who I’m talking about, go check out his stance on KFC’s “Famous Bowl”, or as he likes to call it, “...a failure pile in a sadness bowl”. (HERE is a link to the written article, and HERE is a link to a video o/his performance re:this subject.) Personally I think he’s a very talented comedian who embodies everything I described above.

All that said, he’s just recently written something new, this time about Mrs. Sarah Palin. In case you have not all ready read this lovely gem, I have posted here for your convenience.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. :)

* * *

“LET’S ALL NOT BE MEAN TO SARAH PALIN!”

"I've been saying bad things about Sarah Palin before right now in the past ago. But that's only because I thought she was an unqualified, passive-aggressive, hypocritical cunt.

However, I was hit over the head 11 times with an amber paperweight this morning. Then, seventeen minutes ago, I got my head trapped in a big plastic bag, and was not able to get any oxygen into my breath-hole for several minutes. And then I paid the mailman to give me a screwdriver lobotomy.

And so now I see things different and also clearer than before back then.

For first things, everyone who's laughing about her on the TV with Couric needs to understand that, when it comes to the country's money and bank outlook, we need to consider what Sarah said about jobs making and also the shoring up of our proud country and the mountains of glory and tradition that we, as a people, have forever held. And don't forget the health care which for the body of Americans as people and as a whole is critical. Do you remember the people who died in the towers?

And to qualify more than Obama? Let me count on more than one hand! Obama went to smart-school Harvard only, which is shown by studies to be only a single school with a curriculum. Sarah spread her mind over five different colleges for more than that many years. Do you need a fancy school to know a thing or two about a thing or two? Ask a Democrat about the movie TRADING PLACES, where Eddie Murphy, with only street smarts, takes down a whole building of smart-school elites, and makes them poor. But that's because Democrats are racists and also Republicans freed the blacks which they also don't want you to know.

Now to bring into a finish, Sarah's foreign policy expertly. Obama spent years all over every part of the world except America with Muslims and terrorists. And where was Sarah? She was in America, knowing everything about our proud country and you can bet if foreign leaders come here she'll know tons and tons about our country, and will set them straight! And Obama does not wear a metal flag on his clothes, which is a signal for brown killers.

And also the troops babies eagles 9/11.

I type everything I do now and now I just boom-boomed in my sweatpants."

* * *

More later.

~E.

Things to do when you’ve a full tank o/gas & nowhere to be, now with pictures!

Last night I was supposed to meet up w/the Wingmen (the catch-all term I mentally use when referring to anyone who makes it out to Reston on Thurs.nights), but ended up staying @ my folks’ house much later than I planned & missing it. Ran an errand or two instead, then came back to the apt.& promptly crashed the Hell out as, for some reason, the minute I walked through the door I was hit w/a wave o/exhaustion.

As tends to be normal regarding my lack of sleep schedule, I was wide awake just a few hours later @ 4a, unable to go back to bed. After tossing & turning a bit I gave up, donned some pants, and decided to do a few chores around the apt. - dishes, trash, gathering laundry for the wash, etc. Could only stretch that out for about an hour and 1/2 before I was left with nothing further to do for the time being. Didn’t want to sit still & didn’t feel like reading, so I decided I would: 1) go get coffee, and; 2) take my camera phone with me in case I wanted to hit the internet with a barrage of superfluous pictures later. I absolutely adore cold weather, and get positively giddy when it’s both cold AND rainy, so this was a good plan. Put on scrubby clothes, grabbed my phone, hoodie, hat, cigarettes & keys, & headed to the car.

Following are a bunch of pictures you may or may not care about. Click on any one of them to see the actual, larger image. :)

Just before I walked to the driver’s side, I looked down on the miniscule length o/grass paralleling the road & realized the first, bright fall leaves I’d noticed this season were laying at my feet. I thought the colors were pretty, so I took a couple quick pictures, then got in the car.



Drove to the grocery store, picked up my coffee, then spent a few minutes over in the bakery, basking in the scent of freshly baked pastries (that smell, first thing in the morning, makes me all warm inside). Then I headed for the exit when I stopped abruptly just before the door, backed up a few steps, and stared. In front of me, for the first time ever, I saw what is apparently called a “TV Kart”. (Yeah, check out the creepy, animated picture behind *that* link.)


I did not know what the Hell this was & had never seen it before, (Has anyone else? Am I alone here?), so I took a couple close pictures & decided to look it up when I got home.



I kind of figured it had to be *something* child-oriented from the Playskool color scheme & rounded, plastic edges here & there, but after a little research once I got home, I found out that you apparently toss $1 in the machine, and if you’ve a kid w/you, they can watch a video of one of their favorite characters while you’re picking things up.

o_O - Okay, seriously? Maybe it’s just me thinking that’s *way* over the top, but whatever happened that classic child-in-grocery-store scenario? No, not the one where they scream. I’m talking about that game the weeyun gets to play while they sit in the front seat of the shopping cart (y’know, the one you use to hold your bag &/all your small things if you don’t have children), legs dangling out of the plastic kid holes, pointing & asking for all the sugary crap Mom & Dad won’t buy for them, and making weird faces @ all the surrounding shoppers. When you have children with you, how long are you *possibly* thinking of spending in that grocery store? I mean, do you *really* need to put on Bob the Builder while you’re getting milk & hamburger? Just seems silly to me. ::shrugs::

Left there, then drove around for a bit when I saw this:


...over by Best Buy. The place was completely barren, with the exception of this one, car-shaped cart. I thought it was cute that something not actually an automobile was parked in a space, very neatly, way out in the middle of the empty parking lot. I like to imagine there was an inebriated toddler roaming about last night, getting rowdy with some friends, who had to leave his cart in the lot & catch a ride home because he couldn’t drive.

Headed over to Wal-Mart to grab a shirt & something else when I passed this in the aisle:


Was anyone else aware that someone out there is now making “gourmet” spray cheese? I...I don’t know what to say about that, really. I am both disgusted & oddly tempted to try it, though not enough to spend my own money on it. ::shudders:: Oh, America! ::shakes head::

Finished up & headed back to the car. The car to my left was just pulling out of their spot when I heard a crunch on the ground before they drove away. I looked down as they pulled off and saw...


...a now broken, mutilated, Lego Batmobile. Its driver was nowhere to be found. Poor Lego Batman. You could not combat the might burgundy Corolla. We can only hope it was a quick death & construct a 586-piece monument on your behalf (now on sale @ Wal-Mart, 50% off, complete with working gears).

On the way out of the lot I remembered the circus was in town (no, really), and decided to try & find the grounds to see if anyone was roaming about. I did, there wasn’t, so I took pictures anyway. I’ve never been to a circus (seriously), so I looked around the outside. This is not a real circus, mind you, it’s just a parking lot circus. Still & all, it was there, so I checked it out.

I didn’t realize it ‘til I reviewed the pictures later, but with no one around, against the grey background & half-light of the early morning, my pictures of the circus look a little daunting.

Dun dun DUN!


I mean really, does this look like a picture you would use to advertise a place to voluntarily bring children? Doesn’t it look like something from the cover of a B-grade horror flick?


Even *this* picture was a little off-putting.


Oh, and in case THAT wasn’t bad enough, check out their idea of “cheerful advertisement” (Linda & anyone else bothered by clowns DO NOT look @ this):


!!! Really?! Now obviously it’s a terribly creepy sign. What is WORSE is that I took this picture on the edge o/the grounds, in the middle of the drizzle. That rain has accumulated on the sign and it looks like horrifying Grampa clown IS SWEATING. Dude, I’m not even bothered by clowns & *I* thought that was terrible.

After that, I left & headed to the dollar store, remembering I came across something previously that I should’ve posted a pic o/then, which cracks me up:


This is the Dollar Store’s “AXE” knock-off. I love the fact that it’s completely blunt w/the name. “Use this and you shall reach an important base!” It *claims* to be the scent of “Cool Excitement”, which brings to mind...well, never mind, that’s just silly. What it ACTUALLY smells like is Irish Spring ground into burnt carpet. It’s kinda terrible, but then again it’s the dollar store.

After this I left & headed home to actually *do* my laundry when I remembered something else I needed to show you guys. See, this apt.complex is a classy joint. Know how I know this? Art in the laundry room. By laundry room I mean single-washer-&-dryer-on-ea.level-stuffed-in-a-barely-closet-sized-room. By artwork I mean...well...


(ahem)


That’s right, inside the laundry closet, over the pay washing machine, mounted haphazardly lovingly on the cinder block wall, just to the right o/the pipe work there hangs a faux gilt-framed painting of a freaking.FOX.HUNT...because we are full of class...and also apparently on a country estate. ::shakes head:: I had to share, it was just too fucking funny.

All righty, I’m off to handle a couple more things. If I were Jon Stewart, I would now sign off by prepping an image (say, like Zena Saunders’ painting, “Playing House”) and saying, “And now, your moment of Zen.”


:)

More later.

~E.

“...whatever doesn’t kill you simply makes you...stranger [...or stronger].”

There's nothing scarier, or more disconcerting, than wanting to get to know oneself better when suddenly, shockingly, something occurs so hard & fast that it steals the breath from your lungs unexpectedly, while you're completely unprepared.

I can only possibly analogize it as the sweetest, smallest child in your neighborhood coming up to one out of the blue, blinking wide eyes & smiling ingenuously. Then, catching you completely off guard, he punches you hard enough in the stomach to knock the wind out of you, and runs away to leave you bent over, curled on the pavement, wondering what the Hell just happened.

Phew.

More later.

~E.

(P.S. ~ Commas much? ::chuckles::)

"...I invite the media to grow a pair, and if you can't, I will lend you mine."

Y'know some days I REALLY miss TV. ::laughs:: I'd heard about this skit, but didn't have a chance to watch it 'til now. (Don't know when it aired.) I cracked up so hard I had to pause the video because I couldn't hear anything over the sound of my own laughter.

Unfortunately I can't seem to find a link to embed the video, so you're just going to have to click this link. :D Enjoy.

More later.

~E.

Change in plans for RennFest this weekend...

Hey guys, hope everyone had a really great Labor Day weekend. I had a fantastic time & got to see all kinds of people I hadn’t in a good while, not only at the party on Fri.night, but at the gatherings throughout the rest of the weekend. Between my birthday party, ‘Dark Knight’ at the IMAX, a barbeque, and a hysterical matchstick poker game, I’d say it was probably the best weekend I’ve had in a long time.

All right, so, last weekend I mentioned getting people together this Saturday for Irish weekend at RennFest. These plans have changed slightly due to everyone’s varying scheduling needs (i.e. brew fests, work, family obligations, etc.)

Therefore we are still going to Faire this weekend, however everyone is now getting together to go on Sunday, as opposed to Saturday. If you’re able/still able (considering the change of day) to show, lovely, it’d be great to see you out there. Other than that, just drop me a line/give me a call if you should have any questions. :) Hope to see you out there.

More later.

~E.

Oh, hey, it’s my birthday...

All right, so, my birthday’s coming up. It’s officially falling on Labor Day once again (Ha! Sorry, Mom...) and I’ve been trying to figure out the best way to celebrate considering everyone’s varying schedules/plans, etc. Usually I’ve done some kind of gathering/RennFest deal, and I’d like to do that again this year. However I don’t think it’s going to work out all on the same weekend this time & I’d really like to see as many people as possible considering I’ve not been too terribly social of late. So! Here’s the plan:

1. Party this Friday night, to be graciously hosted @ Brian & Ben’s place, starting around 9ish. (Original plan was Sat., then realized there was a soccer game). If you don’t know where this is, let me know, I’ll give you the address. Bring alcohol, please, and food/mixers if you want some. I also believe they have a grill on the back porch. Parking is pretty much first come, first serve as far as I’m aware. Please let me know if you can/can’t make it so I can give the guys a head count.

If you cannot come to that gathering, that’s okay, because...


2. RennFest next weekend, specifically Sat., September 6th. Know why? B/c the weekend just before my birthday is “Magic” weekend. Fuck a bunch o/”Magic” weekend. However, the weekend *after* my birthday is IRISH weekend. Hells yeah. Plus it means that whoever isn’t available this coming weekend, or whoever’s not able to come out to Sterling, may be able to make it to Faire, and everyone has a good time there. Again, let me know if you’re down either way, love to see you there if you can come out.

So that’s that. If you’re able to show either day, awesome. Other than that, just drop me a line/give me a call if you should have any questions. :)

More later.

~E.

Food meme...

There’s been a ton of stuff going on lately, but honestly I've either been too busy, tired, or out of it to put everything into words & post a proper entry. Maybe one day. Instead you get this meme I got from a friend's journal, which only adds more things to the list of foods I must try.

1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you've eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.

Voila...

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht (Thus far I don’t really care for beets, but I’d try it.)
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi (So far I’ve only had mango.)
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar (I prefer whiskey.)
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin (Sort of. Roe, yes. Meat, no.)
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi (I didn’t know that’s what it was when I ate it.)
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini (Not a fan of olives, though, and prefer Gibsons or Gimlets.)
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian (I am SO excited about trying this one.)
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong (This is one of my all-time fav.teas. It tastes like burning leaves smell, very heavy mesquite flavor.)
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa (!!! I didn’t even know this existed, I must try it. I love anything that includes rose petal flavor.)
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake

More later.

~E.

Oh, Hell & damnation...

Y’know, when I think of doing something rather important (i.e. remembering that I need to create a new car kit that includes things like jumper cables, spare bulbs, etc.) I should really take care of it right then else I forget, thereby damning myself to eventually getting stuck in a particular situation, away from people I know, w/out the proper means of extraction.

...like accidentally leaving the dome light on in my car, thereby killing the battery, and being unable to jump my car from Petunia’s (who was JUST.HERE) b/c I wasn’t smart enough to pick up the damned cables two weeks ago.

Normally, upon realizing I’d just been astoundingly foolish, I would just dial AAA or some such b/c I kinda hate all over asking others for help re:things I can simply do myself. However, it just recently expired. Procrastinated renewing a couple weeks ago (d-d-d-DUMB) and now can’t in the next few days b/c o/transitions re:my current bank account. (I have, apparently, worked very hard in the past couple weeks to make seemingly small, very poor decisions, just so I could be a moron today!)

If there was a drawing of my current situation, and I had to spot & mark all the silly things I did to set the scene like a badly written slapstick, I would get a BIG, Kindergarten-sized, super-fat red crayon, I would circle the whole thing, and I’d color it in.

::sighs:: Okay, I’m off to figure something out, though if anyone feels like popping out to Vienna to jump my car b/c I’m a nitwit to visit, do let me know. Ha!

Guh. More later.

~E.

Insomnia...

“It's at night, when perhaps we should be dreaming, that the mind is most clear, that we are most able to hold all our life in the palm of our skull. I don't know if anyone has ever pointed out that great attraction of insomnia before, but it is so; the night seems to release a little more of our vast backward inheritance of instincts and feelings; as with the dawn, a little honey is allowed to ooze between the lips of the sandwich, a little of the stuff of dreams to drip into the waking mind. I wish I believed, as J. B. Priestley did, that consciousness continues after disembodiment or death, not forever, but for a long while. Three score years and ten is such a stingy ration of time, when there is so much time around. Perhaps that's why some of us are insomniacs; night is so precious that it would be pusillanimous to sleep all through it! A "bad night" is not always a bad thing." ~Brian W. Aldiss

Hm. ::smiles:: What a lovely way to put it. I think this has just become one of my favorite reflections on one of my most common, and least favorite, afflictions.

I really dig the second to last sentence.

More later.

~E.

Uncomfortably Energetic!!!

I believe I shall present you with one of my very favorite YouTube pieces of all time, a grand video named 'Powerthirst'. It's fantastic. Side effects may include abrupt guffaws, uproarious laughter, unattractive cackling, or possibly some particularly indelicate & rather uncouth snorting.

If this doesn't cause you to at least giggle or chuckle a little bit, well, I'm just not sure we can be friends.

Behold the glory that is 'Powerthirst'.

REPO! The Genetic Opera...

Have you guys heard about this? It’s a dark, rock musical movie brought to you by Darren Lynn Bousman (director of Saw II-IV) that combines gratuitous blood, gore, and impromptu surgery with a post apocalyptic story (in this case a worldwide epidemic of human organ failures). The movie claims a cast including Anthony Head, Paul Sorvino, Paris Hilton, Sarah Brightman, and Nivek Ogre.

No, really. I fully admit that the first time I heard about it, I thought it was a prank movie. You know, something a group of college kids made up & may’ve advertised on YouTube because the hypothetical movie would be funny. Apparently, however, it’s real and is set to come out Friday, November 7th of this year.

The film (previously a play performed in both NY & LA) is described as follows between the official movie site, IMDB, and Wikipedia:

An epidemic of drastic proportions devastates the planet. Panic erupts and scientists feverishly make plans for a massive organ harvest. Out of the tragedy, GeneCo, a multi-billion dollar biotech company, emerges. GeneCo provides organ transplantation for a profit. In addition to financing options, GeneCo reserves the right to implement default remedies, including repossession. For those who can't keep up with their organ payments, collection is the responsibility of "organ repo men", skilled assassins contracted by GeneCo, ordered to recover GeneCo's property by any means necessary.

At the heart of the story is Shilo Wallace (Alexa Vega of Spy Kids), a 17 year-old girl with a rare blood disease who has lived locked up and protected in her house, kept from the world at large by her father, Nathan Wallace (Anthony Head). Shilo battles with her desire to leave the house and experience life while Nathan struggles with his job as a repo man and, more specifically, his next target, a woman named Blind Mag (Sarah Brightman). Born without sight but given the ability by GeneCo at the price of having to sing for the GeneCo Opera, Mag was a friend of Nathan's now-deceased wife, and is Shilo's godmother. She is marked for repossession and scheduled to deliver her final performance for the company.

Meanwhile the Largo family, consisting of GeneCo president Rotti (Paul Sorvino), his daughter Amber (Paris Hilton), and his two sons Luigi and Pavi (Bill Moseley and Ogre of Skinny Puppy, respectively), have their own plans. Rotti is dying, and the three siblings bicker and fight about who is to take the role as head of GeneCo.

The stories intertwine and merge at the GeneCo opera.

This is the most recent trailer for the film:


Official website for ‘Repo! The Genetic Opera’

Wow. More later.

~E.

7 random things I'm thinking about at the moment...

1. I’ve mentioned this before, but I’m going to again: The Brad Sucks album has become one of my absolute favorite driving-home-late pieces of music. If I don’t hit too many lights on the drive & there’s not much traffic, it runs the perfect length o/time to drive from 509 to Vienna, walk from the car to the house, and *just* cross the threshold without skipping a single song. Sometimes this feels a little bit magical.


2. The Lifetime channel is showing Christmas movies in July. This is both ridiculous & fired. Lifetime was likely created for those who simply can’t get enough terrible daytime TV, and is really just a cross between truly awful soap operas & after-school specials for adults. For people with those kinds of needs, however, there is now a whole channel that shows outdated, poorly written shows all day long, all the time, forever. Pfft.
   
   ...having said this, I freely admit that I *still* check it regularly while channel surfing.


3. I’ve had a grand total of 5.5 hours sleep in the last 2 days. Night before last this was due to an inability to stay asleep past 3.5 hours. Last night it was my own damned fault because I stayed up @ 509, then got up early on purpose. Was invited to watch a movie back at the Reston apt.w/Katie & Nicholas last night, but I didn’t feel okay driving yet considering the alcohol & my severe lack of sleep lately. Decided to take a nap for a couple hours before going home to be on the safe side (worked like a charm), then got up at 5a, loaded my stuff into the car, & helped Maam pick up a metric fuck-ton of fireworks refuse left in the road of the cul-de-sac. It’d be way more impressive if I said something like, “Keeping the streets clean...for AMERICA!” but really it was just me in yesterday’s clothes, sweeping the street with a broom, & Maam in a nightgown with a plastic bag, putting away whatever I was able to shuffle over to the curb.
   
   After over an hour of this we decided things were good enough. She gave me a hug before I left, but both of us were so gross & sticky from being out in the hot, lightly raining weather for so long that it was sort of an “Aw!” moment, immediately followed by an, “Ew, gih!” moment as ea.o/us quickly pulling back & shared mutual, albeit amused, disgust with our yucktacular states.


4. Last night Debbie said she referenced our last 3 hr., multi-store grocery excursion & my love for all things culinary by telling someone, “E. shops for groceries like other women shop for shoes!”
   
   I thought the way she put it was pretty keen. Also it makes me sound like a little less of a complete fattie than saying something like, “Oh my God, she spends *hours* in food stores. HOURS I tell you!” ::laughs::


5. (This is a girly complaint you can totally skip if you like...) I am not friends with my ovaries right now. They are terrible, wretched little monsters that hurt me in my hurting place for no good reason. If they continue to misbehave so atrociously & wreak havoc on me in this fashion, I’m going to divorce them due to irreconcilable differences & an abusive relationship. ::looks in direction of said organs:: Did you hear that you little jerks? Keep this up & we’re going to have a very specific conversation involving a knife and an ice cream scoop. I feel kind of like I’m stuck babysitting someone else’s ill-raised, very poorly behaved toddlers, and I can’t kick them out, and I don’t know when they’re going home.


6. It is raining & dreary & beautiful outside right now. I think it’s lovely, and if it weren’t for the fact that it’s so humid and warm, I’d be out in the rain. Instead, I believe I’ll try to spend as much of the day as possible in pajamas, looking out the window on occasion, watching movies, & getting lost in other people’s fictitious lives.


7. In keeping with the tangent theme of this post, whenever you’re having a rough time of things & find yourself grasping at straws to keep your hopes up, try to remind yourself that things could likely be worse. You could be:
   
   
   • On fire.
   
   
   • Afflicted with some terrible sort of crotch-rot.
   
   
   • This guy. I mean...damn.

I like my women like I like my coffee...covered in (nano)bees!

A couple weeks ago I came back to the house after a long day of tromping around outside viewing some rooms & apt.’s, running errands, etc. Took my shoes off, started a pot of coffee, noticed no one else was around, then got on my computer. A little while later I got up, got a cup of coffee, and was returning to my computer when I saw a really tiny dot on the floor. I bent down to pick it up and make sure it wasn’t a stain or some such (it’s a light carpet) when I realized it was *not* a piece of random sumsing...it was a bee. Not a normal size bee, mind you, but what looked like a super-dinky-teeny-tiny version of a common yellow jacket, probably about 1 cm.long. Likely the tiniest bee I’ve ever seen.

Now first off, the thing was obviously either severely stunned or dead (it was just sort of lying there on its side, no damage to the body). Decided after a few seconds on squishing it to make certain of the latter. Said to myself, “That’s weird,” flushed it down the toilet, made sure there wasn’t any mess left behind, then got back to what I was doing. I mean I was wearing cuffed jeans that day, and there weren’t any windows open while I was out, so I figured it could’ve just been stuck in my cuff at some point during the day, then fallen out when I got home. Either way, aside from mentioning it to (who promptly called it a nanobee) & wishing I’d thought to take a picture before I crushed it, I didn’t really think about it.

Early, early this morning I got out o/bed briefly to grab my bottle of water from the kitchen and retrieve my lip balm from the living room when I noticed a dot on the living room floor. Turned on the light & bent down to see...ANOTHER COMATOSE/DECEASED NANOBEE.

What.the.Hell? Seriously? I feel like I’m in some sort of weird, ‘Blair Witch Project’ involving tiny, angry insects. Somehow I’ve pissed off an itty-bitty Queen around here so now, every so often, she sacrifices one of the hive to the living room floor when no one else is about, usually eliciting something along the lines of, “...what the...what the Hell is that?” from yours truly.

This time, however, I grabbed my camera phone & a bobby pin for size reference & took a picture.

Nanobee vs.Bobby Pin. Both are small, BUT WHO SHALL WIN?!


And here are a couple more failed attempts at clearer close-ups that actually ended up fuzzier...



See? Tiny isn’t it? The way it's positioned, with one wee little leg bent & lifted, I kind of imagine it suffering a massive coronary in the middle of can-can practice or a kung fu lesson.

::performed in a very tiny, buzzing voice:: "HIIIII-Y...ECH-!!!" ::clunk::

I don’t know, I’ve looked around the house & haven’t seen any place they could be coming from. We don’t keep windows or doors hanging open, I’ve looked around the house & not found anyplace where they’d really be coming from, and I’m not a beekeeper, so no clue really. Maybe a vent? Either way, should mention it to Freddie, obviously. Could be just a fluke, but just in case...ATTACK OF THE NANOBEES!!!

More later.

~E.